WTF.

I'm running away to Aruba.

You can expect to pay $217,971 in Social Security taxes over your working life for retirement and survivors benefits. For those taxes, you can expect to receive $1,808 a month in Social Security retirement benefits. Your rate of return under today's Social Security is 1.86%.

However, if you had been able to invest all of your Social Security taxes in a Personal Retirement Account (PRA), you would have had a total of $673,906 when you retired. Your monthly benefits would have been $5,489. You lost $3,681 a month.

Oh and I found out that my life expectancy 84.25 years. 1985 - 2069. Dang, I gotta start living.

no Action on the home front

The light shines behind the door. I slowly push the door open, creeping down the first 3 steps. Then I slip off my flip flops and make the rest of the descent into the cold, dark room. I flattened myself against the wall, and peak around it.

That was to be the first let down of many. There was no one visible in the room. I then check the liquor room. Nope. No one there either. I flatten myself against another wall, eyeing my final destination.

Is he really in there? And who is 'he' anyways?

Now I'm getting bored. I just march right into the back bedroom and dont bother with the stealth moves. I think I went back there more out of curiosity to see where Kiera was placed than to see if someone was hiding. Yep, I was right. She's never in the same place.

Now I creap back over towards the door. Hmm...are they really all chickens? Yep. Sure enough. Nothing in that closet cept for shirts and some weird bed post angled in the doorway.

The Close of Disdain

Yes. I know. I am posting for the first time since Christmas Break. Please dont fall out of your seat ladies and gentlemen. I guess the reason I never posted this past semester was that there was nothing worth while to post. And on that note, I think the only thing I shall say about this past semester is that I discovered there is a time and a place to use the F word - and you can use it a lot.

This past week marked the first week of my internship. Now, due to the recent hubub of interns and their blogs, ("Interns? No Bloggers Need Apply" by New York Times) I wont mention the name of the organization. But I am in the journalism field doing PR work right in the heart of Washington - something I have always wanted to do.

Ahh, Washington. I love that city. I have grown to love it even more this past week as I am slipping more into the professional occupant from the tourist. Those tourists. Sheesh. Here's a tip: Don't ever walk around a new city with your head tilted 45 degrees upwards and with your mouth drooped open. You look hidious. And you don't have to wear sneakers and long socks, especially with capri pants ladies. At least try to blend in my fellow Americans from the deepest pockets of this country.

Commuting to the city this past week has provided me with a lot of alone time. Just me and the DC radio, or my random music mixes when I am driving to the Metro station. And then just me and my big black bag walking around Washington. It has caused me to come to grips with what's really going on inside. Something I will admit I have shoved aside and pushed down like a bad weed cropping up out of a cement side walk. Due to the course of many different events of the past semester, I had completely covered myself in feelings of unworthiness. The feeling of not being qualified to say what needed to be said. And the feeling of being completely invisible. The only reason I feel justified in writing about this is because this is just a normal feeling for anyone, including those who appear most secure. Many other people, especially those in my generation, have immersed themselves in this feeling too. Well guess what folks. This feeling is completely demonic. It's not other people that are making you invisible. It is you. I'm beginning to believe that these awful feelings of depression are just roadblocks in the way of fulfilling your true purpose. Yea I know, that sounds like something you read in the self-help section of Barnes and Noble or something, but it's true.

I don't know why God choose to let me grapple with these feelings of doubt in myself during these last years of college. They say college is "the best time of your life". Well I guess being depressed for a time is what makes it the best time of my life. I feel more well-rounded, more able to view the world realistically and not through rose-colored glasses. And, coming out of depression is one of the most satisfactory feelings ever.

So! This summer promises to be nothing but exciting after experiencing all that. I am really looking forward to planting some roots in the journalism world. And, I am looking forward to spending time with close friends outside of a school setting. It's like real life! Something I have been craving to live...

I was trying to think of an interesting theme to write about on my blog for this summer. Since blogging is now to the journalism world as fruit cake at Christmas, I have resigned myself to doing it. So, whatever weird angle I come up with, I hope you enjoy.

holy crap i think i need a makeover

You are a Lamborghini Murcielago!

You're not subtle, but you don't want to be.  Fast, loud, and dramatic, you want people to notice you, and then get out of the way.  In a world full of sheep, you're a raging bull.

http://www.tomorrowland.us/sportscar/

Home sweet home.

Ok i just discovered the best song EVER! It's "Far Away" by Nickelback and its b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go

Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Hold on to me and, never let me go